Healing from the Inside Out

The Solution Within

“Perhaps the simplest and most inclusive definition of grief is ‘unfinished hurt.’”

~ Father Richard Rohr

It’s not only the loss of a loved one or a beloved pet. Nor is it limited to the everyday disappointments and small hurts that are part of life and living. It also encompasses the wrenching scenes from the world's hotspots of violence, the devastating destruction caused by natural disasters, and every form of human suffering and violence.

All these experiences carry the power to break our hearts.

The late Stephen Levine taught that it is the nature of the world to bruise us.

And that left unattended and unresolved, our hearts can be hardened and our souls can be calloused.

Worse still, and as Rohr teaches in so many ways, when our hurts are not transformed, they are projected. Loved ones become inadvertent targets for the grievances of the day. Fellow travelers are assaulted by our aggressions on roads. There are even micro-behaviors that sting others. So much of it all is beyond our conscious awareness.

Somehow, unknowingly, we are going to inflict our unsettled wounding on someone or something.

And yet, there are so many examples of healing, sometimes quite profound. This can include those who become “wounded healers” in the words of Jungian psychology.

Regardless of the approach to healing, the magic elixir seems to be the acknowledgment of the wound.

Nothing truly changes without first becoming aware of it and then acknowledging its presence.

Only then do healing and transformation become possible.

In the language of the Saga of Grace series:

“Hurt people hurt people. Healed people heal people. Transformed people change the world.”

It seems so elemental. Why don’t more of us lean into our pains and wounds?

It may be as simple as the fact that we have evolved to cover up the tender spots so we can “keep it moving,” as my wife, Felica, often observes. Regardless, there is ample evidence that many of our inner injuries do not heal well while hidden within us. There is even more evidence, that for many of us, it will take substantial disruption, pain or suffering to get our attention.

Seeing True in Action™

What are we to do? How might we better approach this matter of healing?

Years ago, a long-time mentor told me that we can trust that life and living will always bring us to a jumping off point. The question then becomes whether we understand sufficiently the nature of wounding and healing.

As my mentor also said, the same life that wounds and nudges us toward healing, will slways provide solutions.

We just say “yes” to the learning.