
Forgiveness
If you are letting your attachments to old ideas, feelings, and events hold you back, then it's time to release them in order to move forward.
Releasing is an intentional act, though in many ways quite mysterious. Whether we call it releasing, forgiving, letting go, yielding, surrendering or abandoning, we each have had experiences of something suddenly shifting and casting us into freedom. However, most of us are hard pressed to explain how we forgive and thus how we are freed. Some would say it is not an act of the will, but something that comes to us or falls upon us. Despite the mystery, there are any number of practices which can facilitate letting go. Sometimes the process of forgiving and releasing will lead us to a moment of clarity where we see the nature of our attachment and it simply falls away. At other times we may have to use any number of practical approaches like journaling, a list of pros and cons, or diagnostic tools. Some of us will need prayer or affirmation work. In some cases we'll need support from counselors, clergy or advisors.
Twelve step recovery offers a number of tools, as do New Thought and a wide range of psychological, spiritual and philosophical disciplines. The issue with releasing is not in using the “right” approach, since that does not exist, but in working more deeply to understand and see what will be needed, then utilizing new or known approaches. Often we use experimentation to discover success from which we can then build greater awareness, skills and capability. Then releasing becomes replicable and reliable, though never static.
Do you know what's holding you back? What are the nature of your attachments? What are the means for letting go? Do you understand the value of forgiving? Is your grudge affecting you more than the person you can't forgive?
The end of the year is a powerful transitional period. It is also a great time to come back into alignment and let go.
Somehow, we need to hold true to continuing to grow with and through difficulties. To deepen ourselves in the presence of what forces we must face. To fully engage ourselves and our lives in order to be reconciled.
In the West, there is a tendency toward action and problem solving. In the East, we would be encouraged toward greater contemplation. Of course, the human psyche has evolved to avoid disturbance in every way possible. What a conundrum. Avoid or engage?
The funny thing about expectations is that they reveal themselves when you least expect it.
On this episode of "Speaking True," we take a look at how we unknowingly come to feel entitlements, and what to do to release them.
"So first I ask myself if I have been a perpetrator. The answer is mostly reassuring. I have never knowingly acted against women, blacks, Latinos, Muslims, or Native Americans. I’m not guilty of overt acts.However, when I search deeply, it pains me to acknowledge that there has been much ignorance on my part..."
"A young woman who considers me a teacher and mentor asked me last week how to hold up in the presence of so much disharmony in the world. She’s scared by gun violence, nuclear confrontation, global warming, and social and political strife. She’s also a dark-skinned woman and is afraid to travel outside the city of Atlanta. “There are people out there who hate me and want to hurt me,” she whispered."
Every interaction we have with the world is defined by the stories we tell ourselves about the situation. In this episode of Speaking True, Ron talks about judgement and how it created a story he was telling himself.
Have you ever thought that maybe an F-bomb was the only word that would truly emphasize the point you're trying to make? Well, me too! In fact, I'd argue that it's a more powerful word than we give it credit.
The only type of love is unconditional love. But that's much easier said than done! Join Ron for this episode of Speaking True, on How to Love Without Conditions
Have you ever wondered how Velcro works? Sometimes our interactions with others work the same way. Many of us get “hooked” together in dynamics and with people in such a way that isn’t beneficial to our well-being.
While being brutally honest about our struggles can be deeply uncomfortable, much good can come of it. What if sharing your struggles helps someone else with theirs?
Here is my article from the Conscious Life Journal, about using forgiveness to foster spiritual transformation.
Recently, I've been traveling around the South giving workshops on Forgiveness. Because Forgiveness work is ongoing, and because not everyone lives in an area where they can easily attend one of the workshops, we've decided to share this Sunday message that preceded the workshop at Richmond Unity a few weeks ago. Enjoy!
At the start of every new year, we have the opportunity to wipe the slate clean: mentally by addressing old habits that no longer serve us; physically by cleaning out old and unused objects that clutter our homes; and spiritually, by releasing the old anger and resentments clogging up our psyches.
These were written in my journal, more or less as you see them. It is not clear to me to whom they were addressed, who this dearest one might be, only that they are necessarily intimate. Perhaps it is God to whom I speak, or some imagined lover, or a close confidante. Regardless, the only way I was able to capture my inner experience was in letter form.
Have you ever learned from someone else's struggle? Shared experiences are invaluable in helping us grow and let go. This is the story of how one nurse's compassion during a difficult time gave me much-needed clarity.
Reality rarely turns out like our expectations, and this is never more true than during the holidays. So what can we do to make sure we still have a good holiday season? Join us for this episode of Speaking True to learn more!
Recently while discussing forgiveness practices in a workshop, I was asked about forgiving the unforgivable. It involved a little girl in New Mexico, Victoria Martens, who was senselessly and horrifically murdered. It’s the kind of awful story that forces nearly everyone to question how they could ever forgive something so terrible...
How do we forgive after a very long and intense election in 2016? Ron Chapman discusses the strategies and practices of how we can move forward keeping our relationships intact through the path of Forgiveness in this episode of Speaking True.
Can we see that placing blame is a fool’s game? Is it not clear that we have a collective problem, that together we are the creators of culture? Dare we look and see that that which we do not resolve within ourselves will be propagated through us, knowingly or unknowingly?
For many years I’ve been involved with advisory, coaching and developmental services to assist people in overcoming adversity and challenges. While there are countless forms of difficulty any one of us can experience, the truth is they all ultimately boil down to a single problem that has two facets...
The ability to perceive no wrong is serious medicine for what ails humanity. So too is the ability to release grievance and wrongdoing.
Things came to a head early in the morning a few weeks ago. My psyche has a particular trick it plays on me when confronted with difficulties. It awakens me between two and three in the morning with an incessant litany of planning.
Any one who struggles cannot be in any space other than the one they find themselves in. Given time, place, circumstances, beliefs and any number of factors that are fixed both inside and outside us, everyone is presently in the only space they can possibly find, even if it is a swamp.
The only question is whether we are willing and able to join them there.
Do you believe in forgiveness? What if when the situation is fundamentally unacceptable to us? Watch this episode of Speaking True "Forgiveness" to gain a new perspective on the true nature of forgiveness.
How do you recognize when the path that you’re on is no longer taking you in the direction you want to go? For some further insight, consider the strategy of the juggler in the above episode of Speaking True.
Fear and pain are perfect feedback mechanisms provided by Life for our well-being. Embracing them is far more beneficial than avoiding them.
“You’re looking for yourself,” said the wiseman. “Where did you lose you? It is there you will be found.”
Life itself is dynamic and disruptive. It is always moving and changing, totally at odds with our idyllic, psychic imprint of non-disturbance. So life itself becomes a problem.
There’s something to be said for seeing ourselves in a different light as we grow and evolve. In fact, there is a peace in knowing we are all works in progress and the learning will never stop.