Admiring a Friend

For a number of years I have had a very emotionally intimate relationship with a woman who is ten years older than me. No, not that kind of relationship; rather, a deep connection and ongoing dialogue with a friend in twelve-step recovery. In that world, it is often said that we should seek out those “who have what we want.” My friend is exactly that. I admire who she has become, and especially the remarkable inner work of spiritual growth, development and recovery she has demonstrated.

So it was when she and I were reflecting on our practices and progress in the spiritual realm when she told me about new challenges upon which she was embarking. I have to admit, I think it is really cool when any of us can continue to press ourselves developmentally as we age.

I flashed back to something I had read a few years ago. Some scientists hypothesize that we have evolved such that our physiology responds to our intentions. When we say we have important work to be done, the kind of work that stretches us and continues to grow us, the body responds at the neurological level. It communicates to itself that we are still alive, still thriving, still growing. And the result is that the body responds and supplies the needed vitality.

On the other hand, they surmise that when we settle into our easy chair and express that we are slipping into the decrepitude of old age, the neurological response is to slowly and inexorably slide us toward the grave.

I shared these ideas with my friend, and she enthusiastically agreed that it made sense to her based on her experience. She continues to thrive because she intends to live a life of growth and challenge.

Now, I certainly don’t know the science. Yet, I sense there is truth in it.

It brings up a question of what subtle or not so subtle cues we are sending to the Universe, or Life, or Spirit. Are we signaling thriving and vitality, or decay and demise? Do you suppose we are living a manifestation of the callings of our own heart? Could it be that life as it is lived through us is a response to our own conscious or unconscious designs?

Seeing True™

Life is living me, as me, through me. Though my life is not my own, life is me.

In the end, perhaps the greatest step is to own our own reality.

Seeing True™ in Action

If any of these ideas hold merit, then the actions in our lives must be a mirror. Granted, it may be like a carnival mirror, presenting an imperfect image, yet still a reflection from which we can learn.

Consider taking an inventory of the actions in your life. Write each one down. Then, hypothesize what they may mean in terms of what they tell you about your inner intentions. Do they carry a message of thriving, or of fading? Do they ask more of us, or less? Are we stretched, or merely reassured?

Once you have a full picture, discuss with a trusted friend or advisor.

When you are done, ask yourself if you are content with what you see.

If not, what are you willing to do differently?

Updated May, 2023